What Did You Expect?
Redeeming the Realities of Marriage
Marriage, according to Scripture, will always involve two flawed people living with each other in a fallen world. Yet, in pastor Paul Tripp’s professional experience, the majority of couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared for the day-to-day realities of married life.
This unique book introduces a biblical and practical approach to those realities that is rooted in God’s faithfulness and Scripture’s teaching on sin and grace. “Spouses need to be reconciled to each other and to God on a daily basis,” Tripp declares. “Since we’re always sinners married to sinners, reconciliation isn’t just the right response in moments of failure. It must be the lifestyle of any healthy marriage.”
What Did You Expect? presents six practical commitments that give shape and momentum to such a lifestyle. These commitments, which include honestly facing sin, weakness, and failure; willingness to change; and embodying Christ’s love, will equip couples to develop a thriving, grace-based marriage in all circumstances and seasons of their relationship.
Noel and I listened to most of this book driving in the car! Wise words. Authentic experience. Provocative application. Turned a long trip into a fruitful two-person marriage seminar.” — John Piper, Founder, Desiring God; Chancellor, Bethlehem College & Seminary
“When Paul Tripp teaches, preaches, or writes he does so through the lens of the gospel. In What Did You Expect?, Paul faithfully and brilliantly lets the gospel bear its weight on the messiness and beauty of marriage. I, personally, found the book to be helpful, and we use it extensively at The Village.” — Matt Chandler, lead pastor, The Village Church, Dallas, Texas; president, Acts 29 Church Planting Network; author, The Mingling of Souls and The Explicit Gospel
“The reason What Did You Expect? is so powerful is not because Paul Tripp is a marriage expert with tips and tricks to fix your problems, it’s because his teaching is drenched in the gospel and the Word of God. This honest book will help you see yourself and your spouse in a new light as it shows you who Jesus is and how to connect his redeeming grace to the daily realities of your marriage. Singles and engaged couples will benefit from it, too.” — Joshua Harris, Former Senior Pastor, Covenant Life Church, Gaithersburg, Maryland; author, Dug Down Deep
Table of Contents
- What Did You Expect?
- Reason to Continue
- Whose Kingdom?
- Day by Day
Commitment 1: We will give ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness
- Coming Clean: Confession
- Canceling Debts
Commitment 2: We will make growth and change our daily agenda
- Pulling Weeds
- Planting Seeds
Commitment 3: We will work together to build a sturdy bond of trust
- Sticking Out Your Neck
- Someone to Be Trusted
Commitment 4: We will commit to building a relationship of love
- All You Need Is Love
- Ready, Willing, and Waiting
Commitment 5: We will deal with our differences with appreciation and grace
- Amazing Grace
- Before Dark
Commitment 6: We will work to protect our marriage
- Eyes Wide Open
- On Your Knees
- Worship, Work, and Grace